:: p a m k e r z o i d ::

...Of Thoughts and Pressies...

2008-07-23T04:48:27Z

This has become a habit...updating once every 4 months...it amazes me how some people can update everyday!!...maybe it's just me..i'm not so much of a writer or rather one who spills my thoughts to the world so easily...oh well...so anyway, the collage below sums up pretty much what I have been up with for the past 4 months...

March. Went to Krabi for my yearly pilgrimage with Vic and Mich. Love the place, the people, the FOOD!!..i think i can retire there, land's cheap..transport's cheap..people are lovely..place's lovely..went island hoping on the super fast speed boats..the islands were beautiful..water's crystal clear..i canoed from island to island alone as well and nearly got sea sick due to the choppy waters...not a very good idea to go alone, kids don't try this without parental supervision!!

April to June. These few months past pretty quickly. I was overwhelmed with work and had to stay back in school pretty much almost every other day. I spent more time at my work place rather than home. It was competition season for the netballers and training was really intensive. Girls did well and clinched 1st and 2nd position in the ITESC games. Very proud of them..it was a wonderful pre-departure gift.

June. Went to KL for overseas sports exchange program with the netballers. One word to describe the experience. Bitter sweet. Why bitter? The arrangment with the tour guides there was terrible. Was promised 2 games with the local colleges there and indeed we did have 2 games. BUT...our first team didn't even have a team!!...we had to play amongst ourselves when we were there. We played on those granite floor..and the netball poles had to be 'rooted' to the ground by placing big stones on them...how nice..kampong style of netball. 2nd match...even more kampong!! we played on grass court...in the rain!!!!...imagine doing a bounce pass!!...yup, it doesn't really work!!...it was good experience for the girls though...interesting one I must add. So back to the bitter sweet...why sweet? I guess it was this trip that really bonded the team very closely. It was quite heart warming to see how closely knitted the team became and how they looked out for each other. =)

July. My last days at my work place. Had so much mixed feelings when the last day drew nearer. I kept myself busy the whole week by staggering my packing, trying to forget the fact that I was going to leave the place. It's a decision i do not regret but i sure miss my colleagues and students..they are the 2 things that keeps me sane over there! Both my CCA groups gave me separate farewell gifts..the climbers baked a huge chocolate cake for me which says "Ice Climbers love Ms Pam!" and it's super yummy and sinful i must say!!..they also made me this huge card that has past photos of them and myself with all their farewell thoughts...I miss them...they are the first batch of CCA students that I had to handle...this bunch of rascals...it's quite hard to hate them despite the fact they are always up to no good and getting themselves into trouble...but it's their cheekiness that really brightens up ur day and hides all the nonsense they throw at you. The netballers gave me a farewell gift/party...and no better place to do it then at my new working place...how "thoughtful" of them!...they gave me a whole set of Jenga tiles which writes "Thank you for all the guidance you've given us. We love you Ms Pam!"...my time with the girls was pretty short..only took over the club this year...but it felt so much longer...i think i am more like a friend to them then their teacher...I have been really bless by each and everyone of them..getting to know them individually and how they have opened up to me is something I couldn't thank God enough......=')

Next chapter in life is a new journey that I am excited but yet a little nervous to embark...so till the next 4 months (or maybe lesser)...adios!

...After A Long While...

2008-03-08T04:22:15Z

After months and many complains, here I am attempting to update. Much have happened and I don't really know how to put everything together. Some good some bad, some highly charged with crazy emotions.

December

- Tua yi's suddent departure was one that no one expected. It was a great lost but yet at the same thing it brought the family much closer.

- While we lost one, we were blessed with another one. =)

- Sis bought (sort of) me a bike after striking a deal with her. =))

January

- No big new year celebration, no one was really in the mood.

- School started and have been busy since then.

- Additional new portfolio to work, almost had no life then!

February

- Can't really remember what happened during that period except for CNY which wasn't very significant either. Was too tired to be in the celebrative mood.

March

The Gir's Sports Day (SPORTS ON) event that the female colleagues in my department have been planning for like forever just concluded yesterday. In my opinion, it was a success! From the competition sport to the dance competition to the carnival games, it was great! I guess the biggest accomplishment was seeing female student who hardly go for PE lesson participate in the various sporting activities. It makes all the 2-hours of sleep, packing of 300 goodie bags, transporting of stuff, disagreements with bosses, sleeping in the office all worth while!

Can't think now, brain's really tired. Till the next time...

...RESPECT...

2007-12-11T15:12:49Z

RE·SPECT

1. To show regard or consideration for: to respect someone's rights.

2. to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with

this pretty much sums up what I wanna say...some people really need to know/learn/understand the meaning of this word!!...have been having encounter with people who don't treat you like proper human being, what's more a lady...have also been hearing stories from my good friends of how people around them treat them like puppets...I am someone who usually have quite a high threshold for such nonsense but I think my capacity has dropped over the year, i blame it on my job!!...it's really quite disgusting to know that when we show people respect as subordinate, colleague, good friend, child...but yet the only thing you get in return is ungratefulness and disrespect, manipulated like a helpless puppet!!...some people really need to learn how to grow up and mature!!...I guess this happens more often with people that you're closer or work with almost every other day...we get so comfortable with their company and drawing the line becomes out of the picture...stepping into ones privacy becomes a norm with the thought that that's perfectly fine...what I really can't tolerate is how people treat you like dirt but at the end of the day pretend nothing has happened or for some they continue to wave their little finger and demand for more...it seems as if they have been blinded by the biggest cloud on this universe and they do not know what's going on...and the only people suffering is the one who gets all the s***!!...I think it's stated in the bible (anyone know where?!?) that our tongue (or is it our mouth) has the ability to say things that are good but yet it also has the power to say nasty things too...some people just don't know the extend of how their words could do more emotional harm then physical hurt...i guess at some point in life, everyone has gone through this phase...either we are the victim or the guilty one...I had my fair share of both and not very proud of the later...when it happens to me personally, i take it as a learning journey...but when it happens to your loved ones or close friends, it really makes me boil because you can only help that much especially when the cycle keeps repeating!

if only we were all in heaven right now...everything will be a bed of roses...we won't have to face with such trivial and stupid matters...but I guess for now before I get to my garden of roses, will just have to deal with it!!

...My 42.195km Journey...

2007-12-09T17:13:51Z

Genesis

I don’t really know how to start typing this entry…there’s a lot of thoughts floating around but I just don’t know how to string them together…but I guess I’ll just let my fingers do the walking and talking and type whatever that comes to my mind…

42.195km…that’s not a number to play with, well at least not to me…it might not be significant to others but it is someway to me…I have never done a full marathon in my life only did the halves…I could never imagine myself going beyond that distance but I knew I had to put myself to the test, the challenge…I guess over the past few years (especially over the past few years), one thing I live by is to push myself to unfamiliar waters …I never liked running in the past…hated it actually cos it’s boring…no action…the only part of the body you are actively using is your legs…that’s it!!...but I still picked it up, I started running in uni cos I felt fat!!...too much rich dairy products…had to run it off!!...from a 15mins run…it went on to a 30mins run…and on to a 45mins run…and it just went on and on….so after last year’s 21km at Standard Chartered, I told myself I had to do the full this year!...I had one year to train for it…I was determine that I could achieve a good timing like a plus minus 4:30….WELL…let’s just say the training didn’t go very well…and the timing kinda gone down the drain…but the experience is one to remember….

The Day Before

I knew if I didn’t sleep early the night before I will get the aftermath during the run…in order to wake up in time for the run, I had to be in bed by 8.30pm!!!!!...to achieve that, I had to make myself really tired for the day otherwise it wouldn’t happen at all…that morning, I woke up bright and early at 7am…felt really sleepy but forced myself to get out of bed…spend the first half of the day watching Heroes (it’s a must watch by the way!!)…went to the supermarket to get some pasta to carbo-load for lunch…cooked a huge pot of salmon pasta soup…haven’t had that for sometime since uni days…met Sharon in the evening who’s back in town for the marathon…we decided to call it a short night cos both of us need to be up early…went back, got my running gears ready and I was in bed by 9pm!!...heh...achievement!

Race Day

My alarm clock went off at 2.45am!!!!!...my alarm clock never goes off around that time at all, maybe only during the World Cups…showered, and had my breakkie…was out of the house by 4am...my drive there was peaceful and relaxing…wind down my windows and breathed in the nice cool morning air, great start to a day…arrived at 4.30am and started to do my warm ups and stretching…swallowed a pack of ghu gel, went to the toilet twice, and made my way to the start line…I was feeling a little sleepy and I guess it’s written all over my face cos as I was waiting for the flag off, I just stood at a spot and stared into space for a while till I was ‘awoken’ by a familiar face…BOB!!...it was really great seeing him and his friend Colin…guess God heard my silent prayer…if it wasn’t for the both of them, I guess my timing would have been much worse off then what I have ran…5.30am came and “BAM!” we were off to the start of this crazy journey!!

0km-10km

I had to keep reminding myself not to speed off like a bullet and not be influence by the anxious runners that are zooming past me…proper pacing was essential at this stage cos if I was going too fast, my last 10km would probably be spend crawling on the floor…breathing and legs felt good at this point…I didn’t feel like I was dying and I felt really confident that I would finish my marathon in a rather good timing…the weather was perfect!!...it was a little chilly but as the sun slowly peeked through the clouds, the morning breeze kept the temperature constant…best weather to run!!...I kept praying to God, telling Him that “pls, don’t let me get a tummy upset like the last time…I dun wanna get muscle aches or cramps…hold the weather too!!...but most of all…let me have a good race!!”…kept repeating that as when I could…

Bob and Colin kept me entertained with their jokes thru out…I can’t thank God enough that He sent the both of them to run with me…without them I wouldn’t know how the marathon might turn out….there were many road marshals along the way that cheered and spurred the runners on…but there was one particular one that we didn’t know if we should laugh or throw our shoes at him!....he said… “Come on runners! You can do it”….now that was fine….check out what he says next… “A LITTLE BIT MORE ONLY!!”…there was a split second of silence before runners around me kinda boo-ed at him…guess he had a genuine heart of cheering for all of us…but would probably needa go for EQ lessons or something along those lines!!

10km-20km

At this stage, we finished running the Marina South area and were headed towards East Coast via Nicole Highway…as I was running, we past the 21km runners and their turning point was just at the end of the highway…for a moment I wished I could hop over and turn back…but that wasn’t what I signed up for! When we hit Fort Road, I knew that was where the biggest challenge lies…it’s really mind over matter…or rather trusting God over depending on myself!!...when we saw the 21km route marker, Colin said “And we have half way more!”…I was a little shaken by that thought but I knew I wasn’t alone in this…it’s like looking at the cup…you can either looked at it as it’s half empty or half full…and I chose to look at it half full…with another half marathon to battle…I continued running forward…

Running towards our turning point, I saw Daffers (colleague) walking…her knees were giving her problem again…pat her on her back and spurred her on to keep running…along the way there were many supporters who came and cheer for their friends and loved ones…I must admit that it’ll be really nice to see familiar faces supporting me in the race especially at that point when I am almost collapsing!!...but the support from strangers were good enough too!...the smell of BBQ food along the way didn’t help though…wished they banned BBQ-ing at that hour…not a very good motivation especially when you’re tired and hungry!!...heh!!...

20km – 30km

Bedok Jetty was slowly in sight and I knew that the turning point was just ahead!!...and boy was I happy to see the turning point cos that would only mean that the finishing line was nearer!!...The East Coast stretch was everyone’s killer…you could see many novice runners walking at this stage and many stopped to get deep heat from the medics…as we were running back to Fort Road, we saw Huimei and we run along side together as far as we could…I looked at my watch at this stage, and it was about 3hour++…somehow I knew that I couldn’t hit my target of 4.30hr…but I wasn’t disappointed…guess I didn’t have the energy to feel that emotion and I knew all I wanted at that point was to just finish strong…hit the 30km mark…and my legs started to feel funny…arch of my feet started to feel cramp…calves were also beginning to ache…I was thinking in my heart…. “here we go… only God can help me now!!”

30km – Finishing Line

Along the way as I was running, saw my interesting quotes that people pint on the backs of their shirt…

“Have you seen the latest petrol prices?!?”

“In remembrance of Stephen (one of the national dragon boaters who pass away)”

“Running with my Dad --> <-- Running with my son”

But I the one (or two) that struck me the most was when I saw this particular one when I was around the 35km…

“Philippians 4:13”

I smiled when I saw it…it’s one of my favourite verses…though I was in pain and almost dying at that stage…I know that impossible is indeed nothing with Him around!...and it’s funny that while running, I keep seeing this girl with this quote on her back “Joy of the Lord is my Strength”…I must have past her at some stage…and at some stage she past me…I guess at those stages when she past me, God knows that I needed that!!...

So, painfully but joyfully I finished the last 7km with that promise and assurance locked in my heart!! And it was double joy to see good friends cheering you on at the finishing line, waiting for you for the past 3-4hours under the hot sun just to see you cross that line for like 3seconds!!...am really touched and bless to have them there cheering like I have won a million dollars for Toto or something more!

Days & Week After

Was limping during service after the marathon…if it wasn’t for Nick Vujicicspecial service who by the way gave a very inspirational and captivating sermon, I was bless by him….I wouldn’t have gone to church! The Monday after was still spent limping a little…and by Wednesday, I seemed pretty alright!! Thank God for the quick recovery!!

Didn’t finish the run under my target time but instead when waaayyy over it in 5hours and 33mins!! Quite a horrible timing (in my standard) as I know I am capable of doing better than that…but that didn’t dampen my heart…instead it serves as my next challenge…to beat that time by a bigger margin!!...how am I gonna do it??...I don’t know…but I know with Him, impossible is nothing!

P/s: Looked horrible in the running photos taken at the race...waiting for the ones taken by supporters to be sent to me!!

...Embracing Your Beauty...

2007-11-12T05:45:02Z

"If thigh reducing creams really work, why don't they make your hand smaller?"

- Rita Rudner, Comedian

...Hi I'm Pamela and I'm an Introvert...

2007-10-03T17:17:05Z

"Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours. "

Finally, an article to justify my so called aloof look that everyone claims that I have before they knew me...what they wrote in the article is true about me, an introvert...i hate socializing especially when I don't know the crowd..i think it's more tiring then running a half marathon...I need lots of private time and space...I have no problems exercising alone, or shopping alone or eating alone...in fact, I enjoy the me-time alot...but that does not mean that I don't value my friends...I do...but I just need my space...QUITE OFTEN!

Read more about the article here...and understand why we introverts are often the most misunderstood bunch of people... =)

...Lifehouse - Who We Are...

2007-09-26T12:22:56Z

If you haven't heard, the new Lifehouse album is excellent!!!...It's a must buy...Although they sound quite similar to their previous albums, I think the reason why this is one of their best is because of the lyrcis of every single song on this album...I didn't know (until recently) that 2 of their members used to be from Vineyard Youth Ministry!!...That explains why their songs are written in such a manner! I give this album 2 thumbs up + 8 fingers up + 10 toes up!!...Go get it!

S t o r m
Lifehouse

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If i'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright

And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everthing is alright

Everything is alright
Everything is alright

...Army Half Marathon...

2007-08-26T10:19:14Z

Post race report...one word for the run...LOUSY!!!...timing was atrocious!!...let's rewind back to the start and see where did I started going downhill....

Attempted to sleep early the night before...but only got to bed at about 10.30pm...by then, I didn't think I will have sufficient sleep...true enough, not sure if I was excited or nervous or what, couldn't really get proper rest through out the night...the next thing I know..it was already time to get up at 4am...yes!!...another ungodly hour...I pay to torture myself!! Took a quick shower, made my breakkie and waited for Bob to pick me up...somehow...the moment I woke up...it just felt like a lousy running day...you know you have days where you run like the wind but yet there are days you run like you would have to slog your whole body across the finishing line...today felt like the later...=(

By the time we got there...many people were getting ready for the run...deposited my bag...and did a slow jog to the starting line for warm ups..and by the time we got to the starting point...we could start already...didn't have anytime to like chit chat or what, unlike my other 2 runs...Bob told me to go ahead first because he'll be running with his fried..and I told him likewise...but eventually I did run along first...paced myself for the first few kilometers until I hit the bridge...The Benjamin Sheares Bridge!...it felt like eternity getting to the top...my left ITB started to ache a little whilst running up the slope...and that was the first 3 or 4km only...I was thinking to myself how I was gonna carry on for the next 17km?!?!?...Ignoring the feeling...I continued to run...by the time we hit Fort Road...I think that's where everything took for a turn...my body didn't wanna cooperate with me...I felt breathless...the running route was so cramp...all the sweaty bodies side by side each other...VERY claustrophobic for a while...it wasn't even 10km yet and I already felt like that...i felt lousy and a little demoralise...but still pushed myself further...it was until I hit MacDonald's that I knew I wouldn't be able to hit the timing I was aiming for...I had a very bad tummy ache...stopped and went to the toilet...when I knew my target timing was out of reach...I didn't even bother taking more power gels...I just ran and stopped whenever I felt breathless...told myself to at least finish the last 5km without stopping...and it helped when they had live music along the way...thought that was a good idea...especially for someone who was rather demoralise already...that really helped to brighten the atmosphere...checked my watch...and I told myself to at least get in there by 2hr 45mins!

When i cross the finishing line, my timex watch reads 2hr46mins...a minute shy of the targeted time...I was a little disappointed with myself...and when Bob asked me "Will this affect your end year run psychologically??"...it probably does...but I told him hopefully these negative feelings will fade away along the months...so I thought...since I didn't do well...I should reflect on what went wrong or what went well for me...

What Went Wrong

- Lack of sleep
- Didn't hyrdate well for past few days
- Eating too much rubbish for the past few days
- Never do proper stretching
- Train too much??!?!
- Running route at ECP was terrible
- Donated blood day before (dunno if this affects but I think I won't donate a day before again in future)
- Didn't say a short prayer before I start my run (usually do that..but everythng happened so fast)

What Went Well
- Took only one power gel (an improvement from previous run)

The list is a little imbalance...but at least I have one plus point from the run...we win some we lose some...hopefully the next run would be a better one!...

...achievement...

2007-08-12T15:30:19Z

yesterday, I swam 20 laps...in front crawl! =))

it's nothing to some, but an achievement for me...=) To be able to swim well was (and still is) one of my new year's resolution since *thinks*...2004?? or maybe earlier..I have always wanted to build my confidence in this area...just never got down to it...or maybe I was afraid...anyhoos, I surprise myself with the 20laps...thought I was gonna collapse or drown half way...I probably could have gone for more if it didn't rain on me...or maybe I was too lazy?? What I need to work on more now is to learn to swim faster and correct my technique!!..was quite demoralise at some point when I see people swimming breast stroke going faster or at the same speed!!...grrr!!...needa work on that!!...other than that, i am pretty happy with my little achievement =)

...question...

2007-06-19T15:09:54Z

How do you help someone who has already given up on themselves?

Any takers?

...1321...

2007-05-25T10:12:35Z

That's not the top prize for the latest 4D results but that's my race/tag number for last Sunday's Oakley City Duathlon!...By now, I think everyone on the race has already blogged about it cept for me...was too lazy to do write down my reflections...but anyway, I must say that the race on Sunday was a really interesting one!...my first duathlon...dunno what got into me...but I first saw the publicity postcard about 2 months ago and I was attracted to the race...maybe because it says OAKLEY...was wishing in my wildest dreams that they will give us a pair of Oakley's shades for free in our goodie bag.....NOT!!!!!...so anyway, back to the story...I was looking at the website...and I thought..."Aiyah, what the heck!...Just give it a shot!...Don't try you don't know!"...so i click away on the mouse and the next thing I knew...I signed myself up to the race...I didn't even think how I would get a bike...I didn't even think how was I even gonna train for it...and most of all...I didn't even think how I was gonna survive it...10km run, 40km bike, 5 km run...yup, I was a bit insane then...my brain must be clouded then! I must also appluade Liz for attempting this crazy stunt...I admire her courage to do the entire race alone despite a faulty knee, the lack of training and the lack of expriences...well done mate!! =)...thanks for helping with the bike too!! =)

Race Day

I woke up at an even more ungodly hour (compratively to the Standard Chartered Marathon last December) of 4.15am in the morning to get ready...packed my personal 'cocktail' of energy drink (will go more into that later!)...made my breakkie...showered...and waited for my ride to come...talking about my ride...it's really sweet to have friends who are willing to wake up at an ungodly hour to send you all the way to the race venue...pick you up after the race...and all this even though they are not taking part in the race!...the beauty of it all...I don't even know this friend all that well!...nice people really do exist!...heh...ok...back to the race...when we arrived at the race venue...the organisers were still in the midst of setting up certain things...but people were beginning to stroll in...and when they allowed us to enter into the transition area...I walked to where I am located and racked my bike up there...in the midst of all..manage to catch a little sunrise with the cityscape as the backdrop..it's a pity that I didn't bring my camera along on that day...anyhoos, my race was due to start at 8.15am...BUT, I don't know why we were there at 6am!!!...when everyone only started to stream in at around 7++...probably first timers like me and Liz a bit bodoh and kiasu...so decided to go there early and look stupid and sleepy!!! So, as time went by...you could see many many beautiful and 'scary' looking bikes on the bicycle rack...by 7.30am you could just see this whole sea of bikes!...ranges from mountain bike to roadies to those pro looking ones that has huge ass wheels that might just roll you over like a prata if you're in their way!...by then, I was feeling a wee bit small inside with all the pro looking people surrounding me...everyone was dressed in tights and bicycle top...whereas me? I was just wearing my running shorts and top...I could never imagine myself in tights...don't think I can breathe...comfort is always number 1 for me!!...and it didn't help when the sun decided to be nice and shiny that day!!...trying not to be intimidated by any of these pple's appearance and weather...i wanted to be back of the pack at the starting line up...I thought I would just 'chill by the bay'...relax a bit...take everything at my own time...keep reminding myself that I am not competing with them...but myself only...and then with all these thoughts in mind...the next thing I knew...I was running already....

10km Run

Think I started too fast...didn't pace myself...all the talk about "being calm and it's my own race"...all kinda went down the long kang!!...I was probably nervous that's why I burst the first 5km and regretted it so much in the next 5km!!...Ran along Esplanade, Clark Quay, Boat Quay...2 loops! After the first loop, I started to feel a little breathless...the weather was also increasingly hotter which makes it harder to breathe...at every water point I just throw a cup of water over me and drank another...wanted very much to do the 10km run under an hour but failed...only came in slightly over an hour...and by the time I got to the bike transition, I thought I was gonna collapse!!

Time: 1:06:39

I didn't even know I appeared on CNA till one of my friend spotted me!..sharp eyes!...my 5seconds of fame!

40km Bike

I took my time at the bike transition...I needa the water...the weather was probably the biggest challenger in this race...by now, those who were behind me for the run all caught up at the bike transition...but I didn't really care cos I really needed the extra fluid and banana!!...Once I felt better, I put on my helmet and jogged towards the 'Bike Out' area...once out, off I go for 40km!!...this leg of the race was interesting, an eye opener for me...have been on any triathlon or bike race so I never knew what was it like...the elite athletes were so fierce...whenever you're in their way, they would shout "RIGHT!!" or "LEFT!!" or "GET OUT OF THE WAY!!"...was a little taken aback at first...but I understood why later...that's cos they are going at such fast speed...there was no way they could stop in time and it's also an unsaid road ethics to always stay extreme left if you're traveling at slower speed...so yeah..40km...it's 4 loops round a 10km route...we cycled to Marina area...and back to Robinson road...pretty alright route...only thing that killed me was my shoulders and back...never do this if you have not ridden a roadie before...your shoulders will ache from the position ur in!!...oh! and another killer...my 'cocktail' drink...it was a HUGE mistake!! me being the blur one...never consult any experts...decided to make my own energy drink...so I mixed Ribena with salt...bad move!!!!...why?? that's cos warm Ribena taste awful...and plus salt!!!...wrong choice!!...I shd have just stuck with water!! that's probably the best!!...so through out the race I was rather thirsty...but I refuse to drink the 'cocktail'...that probably made me ride a little faster cos I wanted so much to drink a nice bottle of ice cold water!!...weather was increasinly hotter as time goes by!!...in the first lap, I caught up with one of my student and we cycled together for a while..but tragedy of all tragedies struck when my right calve muscle started to cramp up!!...I was telling God..."Can I please not be one of those riders who stoped by the road to stretch?!?! I don't wanna stop at all!!" He probably heard me whining quite a bit and answered my prayer!!...I drop my speed a little to stretched it out and thank God the cramp was gone!!...by the time I was back at the transition area...it was already 11am!!...that's when it's the hottest!!!...could feel the rays piercing thru my skin!!!

Time: 1:51:36

5km Run

By the time I am back, I clocked in at 2hr 50++mins already...and I thought to myself "ok!!...I will aim to finish this race under 3.5hours!!"...i racked up my bike..put my cap on...and off I go..wah!!...the first few meters...my legs were like agar agar man!!!...was a little wobbly at the start but picked up my momentum after a while...first two kilometers was managable...but after a while, I started to feel tired...my pace dropped and I felt like I was in the Sahara Desert for a while...it didn't help when the running routes were congested with people because of the Singapore River Raft...it made it more fustrating and tiring to run!...by now, I saw many people walking...even those pro looking ones were walking and I was rather surprise by that...I was so tempted to stop and walk...really very tempted...but I told God.."I cannot give up!!...just let me run continously...slow nvm...just don't wanna stop!!"...so I just kept going and going until I saw the "Durian" in sight and I was happy!!...the last stretch from Esplanade seemed like eternity to the finish line!!...I didn't wanna make a mad dash or a heroic or a victorious sprint to the finish line...cos firstly I was too tired to do any of those...secondly, I didn't wanna get a lactic acid accumulation (like what happened in Osim last year) and feel pukey at the end of the race...so I slow jogged to the finish line!...checked my time...didn't make the 3.5hour target!...*sigh*...but was glad to have finished it ine one piece!!

Time: 0:36:02

Overall Results

So..my final results in my category...

3hr 34mins 6secs
Position 33 out of 57

After the race, all tired and worn out!

lizzie and students

Not sure if this is a good or bad timing for a beginner...just glad that I finished it without collapsing or giving up halfway!...it's a good race I must say (despite the scorching sun!)...my first experience with duathlon, probably one hard to forget!!...would I do it again?!?!...yeah!!...why not!!...heh...guess my motto for now is..."Try la..don't try you wouldn't know!"...will live by it for a while now =)

...My Next 21km Journey....

2007-03-20T12:43:01Z

It has been God knows how long since I last wrote something in here...probably like what 'best fren' said...you have so many things to say but yet when you are ready to pen it out...nothing seems to flow...all your thoughts seems to be everywhere and anywhere but here...

so anyway...in the months that I was missing in many actions...I was in my little world of action =)..joined the National Vertical Marathon organised by NTU...managed to clock a time of 15mins plus for 60 stories...I don't even know if the results are good...all I knew I had to keep charging upwards...thought my lungs was gonna pop out of my mouth...never felt so breathless in my life!!...not a very good feeling...blame it on the zero trainings I had for this race...but it was good fun...overall team position was 8th out of 50 over teams (if I don't remember wrongly)...not sure if I will go for the Swiss Hotel one in time to come...

And then next comes the KL Marathon that just past on Sunday...it was a fantastic race despite the fact that...

1) I ran with a flu!
2) The pollution in KL was so bad...my health probably drop by a notch!
3) The traffic in KL is terrible!!
4) I only had 3 hours of sleep the night before!
5) I only took 2 packets of power gel instead of my usual 3!
6) I didn't really train for this run!

Yup, despite all these...I manage to clock a better timing then my previous half marathon!!...heh...official timing...

2hr 22mins 21s
Position 59 out of 158 participants in my category

nice number eh??...should have slowed down a bit for one second..then my timing would have been the perfect timing =)...am glad that I did better...enjoyed the run thoroughly and indeed God spoke during different sections of the run...it felt like I was in a motion picture...heh...during the run...I saw this man who wore jeans..with long sleeves...and long fuzzy hair...wearing timberland boots...RUNNING 21km!!!!...can u beat that??...and he ran fast!!...he was way in front of me till the last section...and all this while he had this megawat smile on his face...really admire him!!...surprisingly after the run, my muscles weren't aching that badly...just my knees...other than that..i was good!!!...=)

and today...I went to Pengeran, Johore to cycle with students...it was such a good ride...despite the fact that I haven't been cyclying for a long time and now am suffering from the after effects...a very sore butt!!!...I would still have to thank God for He never fails to surprise me...what happen was I had to collect 'best fren's' bike from his place yesterday...and when we took the wheels out from the bike so that it could fit into the boot of the car, something went haywire along the way and the break pads of the bike were not aligned!!...and I didn't have any alan-key with me...the only way back was to drive all the way back to his place to grab an alan key...I remember asking God.."Could you pls just let the wheel fit in nicely??...pls??"...and anyone who says that God doesn't answer prayers?!?!?...YOU'RE WRONG!!!!....just when we were about to put the bike back into the car...we saw 5 guys walking past the car park with bicycle tyres!!...and we stood there stunt for a while before reacting...we asked if we could borrow an alan key...and true enough...one of them had it!!...the best part was, he helped us fix the bike!!!!!...he was a pro!!!...that was so God sent...me and best fren prayed for an alan-key to fix the wheels...God sent 5 'alan-keys' that is more than perfect!!...both of us were dumb founded and couldn't believe that God sent these angels...i mean..in the middle of a quiet car park...who in the right mind would be carrying bicycle tyres around?!?!?....heh...He really never fails to surprise me...=)

so anyway...all in all...my past few months have been eventful...there were downs...but I guess the ups were good enough to cover it =)

...my 21km journey...

2006-12-04T16:10:34Z

the much talk about Singapore Marathon organised by Standard Chartered came and went yesterday...the race seemed so surreal, like as if it didn't happen...probably because it was my first half marathon and i didn't think i would make it pass the finishing line in one piece...thankfully, I did make it...and it was a fantastic race...though I am feeling the after effects...but it was all good...i'm still waiting for official timings and photos to be posted online...but probably cos of the overwhelming response this year...it might just take sometime...on my trusty Timex, it clocks 2h29mins...i manage to run under my targeted time of 2.5hr!!...and strangely, I didn't feel tired at all...my body could still take it just that my knees were aching pretty badly...but overall..it was good!!..

so the day started at like 4am...i had to literally peel myself outta bed...thank God I could hitch a ride from Bob...otherwise...I might have been late for my race...when we got there, there were many people waiting a the start line for the full marathon to begin...Bob, Yvonne and myself were walking to the bag deposit area when I suddenly heard..."PAM!!"...and when I turned around...i saw HY all panicky and drench from her perspiration...and the next thing i knew...she stripped to her running gear in front of me...and told me to deposit her bag for her...heh...that sleepy doh doh overslept even with 8 missed calls...i think i found myself another 'shui shen'...

after depositing our bags...everything went pretty fast...i didn't have much time to stretch or warm up...i pop one power gel...drank a bit of water...went to the toilet and just went straight to the starting line..i was feeling a little dizzy initially probably cos of the unusual wake up timing...i remember telling God that I can't backed out from the race cos i very much wanted to this marathon...and thank goodness the dizzy spell just disappeared the moment i started running...i'm glad that thru out I was able to pace myself comfortably...and hydrate myself sufficiently as well...one of the inspiration and motivation for me to keep running was when I remembered the story of The Hoyts...the video and the song kept playing in my head...reminding me that there's nothing too difficult...there's nothing impossible that I can't do with God by my side...and when I saw this lady (she was on ST today) who pulled the tyre with her for the entire 42km just to raise awareness for the environment...it spur me on further...so yup...i just kept running and running...after a while I was like Forrest Gump...

while running, i saw bob n yvonne...and we decided to run with each other till the finishing line...or rather (according to them) they were using me as their pacer...the last 5km (which seemed like eternity) we just ran along side each other till we crossed the finishing line hand-in-hand =)...the moment we stopped, i could barely feel my legs and my knees and calves were aching like mad!...i was or rather almost every other half and full marathon runners were walking around like penguins...I waited for Rong to finish her race...then waited for Net to finish hers...I am actually honoured and glad that I went for the race with both of them...if not for the training sessions we had for the past few months...I might not have been able to clock such a timing... =))

here's the question everyone has been asking..."Would I do it again??"...without any hesistation..."OF COURSE!!!"...and I will do the full marathon next year...42.195km...how am I gonna do it...I dunno...but I just will...=)) and I wanna do more races next year...definitely!!...it's addictive till the point I could not sleep last night...my adrenaline was still pumping even though my body feels tired!!...but all's well ends well =))

...what goes up, must come down...

2006-12-01T17:12:26Z

I have been wanting to post about what has been happening for the past week...but just never got to it because by the time I get back from work...I am completely zonked out...I can watch Prison Break but yet doze off to sleep even with the most good looking guy on TV...sigh....even Wentworth Miller can't keep me awake...I wonder what can...

so anyway, a couple of weeks ago...I heard the most shocking but yet the saddest news...'Copey'...my lecturer from uni days, the founder of my course got killed in a car accident...I still have no clue to what had happen that day...it felt so unreal when Liz told me the news...I was still in the state of denial as I went home that night...I never thought that this would have happen...Copey was a good man...a fatherly figure...a little naggy and messy in doing his work at times...but overall he had a good heart...I wish I could have been there at the funeral...I pray that God will have mercy on his family...the last I remember his wife was sick...I pray that the family will pull through together this grieving period...I pray that his work and research will continue to inspire students about outdoor and adventure...to the man I respect, Andrew Cope...

on a brighter note...well depends on how you look at it...i am finally running my first half marathon this sunday...many have probably done it already...but it's quite a biggie for me...surprisingly, I am not feeling nervous or afraid unlike the other races I have been this year...I seem to be a lot calmer...maybe the nerves might come tomorrow...I don't aim to run like a competitive runner...I just aim to finish it at a reasonable time...maybe like under 2.5hr...just hope I don't faint half way...or my calve muscles or hamstrings start to feel really tight (which it has been recently) during the run...if those areas are covered...I shd be good...not really looking forward to the waking up part though...i probably have to be up at around 4ish!!!!...madness!!!...it's gonna be really crowded...can't imagine 30,000 people running altogether!!...major madness!!...just hope the starting point doesn't jam up like the army half marathon...*crosses fingers*

it's 1am now...I should be asleep...gotta work tomorrow...have been coming back almost every saturday for this month...thank God it isn't for something mundane otherwise it'll be even harder to drag myself outta bed....so anyway, tmr's gonna be exciting cos legendary Olympian...Carl Lewis is gonna be giving a motivational talk at school...he's even gonna be giving live demostration...I am gonna act like a die hard fan and get his photo & autograph...heh!!

alright...shd head for bed now.......till the next time....

...somebody give me some boost!!!...

2006-11-13T14:38:23Z

Finally after so much talk and hype about it...I went to take a look at Vivo City...2 days in a row!!!...my gosh..that place is really huge...it doesn't have my floors...but it sure is long..my mum and i kinda got lost at some point in time...so anyway...whilst walking around...i saw this familar logo plastered on a wall....

YAY!!!...BOOST IS COMING TO TOWN!!...BOOST IS COMNING TO TOWN!!!....I can't wait for it!!!..can't wait to drink my favourite Mango Magic!!...the person who brought it to Singapore is a genious!!!..I hope it taste as good as the one in Australia!!...heh...=))

Fix You

2006-10-06T04:19:28Z

Fix You
Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I..

Tears stream, down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

...hot and cold...

2006-09-21T00:25:12Z

I was awake at 6.30am this morning all thanks to my dysfunctional bio clock which is so hard to adjust and my painful and hot body (NOTE: I wish!) due to sunburnts and and the mucus which is causing my nose to block like a dam!...argh!..wanted to sleep more but couldn't do it...so even before the sun rose, I was wide awake...

The past few days has been interesting...many different turn of events...some of which I wish didn't happen but one of which I thoroughly enjoy!...Liz's MacDonald's party!...I attended a few when I was in primary school but none compare to this!...had so much fun..imagine a room full of 'kids' of ages above 23years old!..I never laughed so much in my life...I think people could probably hear us from Kallang Stadium!!..though the games we played were for little kids, we still manage to finish them (after much cheating) without tearing the place down!...it was great...best party I have been this year...it beats going clubbing a million times!

so back to why I'm awake at this ungodly hour...the reason beind was because I had a 2 day course to attend at work of which I had to report by 8am!!..it was such a struggle!! but the highlight of it was that I manage to meet some of my new colleagues...so far so good...*crosses fingers and toes*...and I also found out where I was gonna sit...right outside the boss's room...talk about strategic positioning!...anyhow, I really pray for favour and grace at my work place...i need lots of that!

so since I was awake that early...i started on my usual 'chores' early...read my emails...read journals...then went on to snoop around on some other people's journal (yes, i do that and i enjoy it, if that's a problem, sue me for all i care!!)...I came across this interesting short film...it's put together with 2000 still photos...never seen such an interesting concept before...no wonder the director, Patryk Rebisz, won quite a number of awards for it...here it is...

if the youtube version ain't clear, view it here...enjoy!

...turning 23...

2006-09-04T03:47:10Z

3 days into being 23...so far it feels pretty much the same as being 22...but I do realise I have to accept some changes in my life...as much as I want to be in denial...I don't think I can swim in that lie forever...*sigh*...why can't we be kids forever??...we won't have so much adult issues to deal with...ever since I came back in the beginning of this year, it just dawn upon me how "adult" i have to be...your friends around you are starting to get married...some are starting a family soon...and you have 'upgraded' from being a 'jie jie' to an 'auntie'..despite my countless attempts of 'correcting' them to call me 'jie jie', i will get scolding from frens that I need to be called 'auntie' now...friends that you once play 5 stones with are starting their career...as much as I hate to admit all of the above mentioned but I guess I have to accept this reality!...

After 2 years of celebrating my bday overseas, it was a quiet affair this year...one with a nice pleasent surprise from Henrie...her presence here brought back many memories of Gippy...as I sat by the river banks, there were many flash backs of how we would all fight to sit on the pathetic small sofa to watch a puny 14 inch TV during dinner times...the same old gang that cooked for each other for the past 2 years...though we had our differences, we still manage to survive each other without killing anyone...we all lead separate lives right now but somehow that night, everything seem the same like it was during our 2 years stay in Gippy...

Before I blew my candle, I was told to make a wish...I refused cos I never knew what to wish for...when my buddies celebrated for me on the actual day, they kept insisting that I said a little prayer before I blew out the candle but I didn't too cos I never know what to ask for on my birthday...or maybe I am afraid of asking for one, fearing that it might not come true...well for the record there ARE things I wish or hope for it to happen but it's just the attention that I get with everyone staring at me at that moment for that few seconds...it's just weird...

So that's 3 days after turning 23...has anything changed??...I am not too sure...am I ready for the change??...even if I am not...I have to be...no more being a toys'r'us kids...happy birthday me...

...addiction...

2006-08-26T02:44:47Z

Last Sunday, it was my first time after don't know how many donkey waking up to a dark sky...and stepping out of the house before sun rise...felt a bit strange...so anyway, I ran my first 10km last week...I never thought I will survive through the entire race...thought I was gonna faint and pass out while running on the sand and probably make headlines on the Straits Times the next day!!..but I must I say it was a fantastic run!...just checked my official timing...I clocked in at

...1h14mins...
am pretty happy with the results considering the fact that I never trained for the 10km run...will aim to do better next year...and yes, i will take part in it againt next year!...it's an addiction...you start one, you itch to go for more and longer races cos it pushes you to 'compete' against yourself for better results (and of course the goodie bags!!)...my addition list this year have 4 races...hopefully next year, it will have more!!

~~OSIM Triathlon~~
~~New Balance Real Run~~
Great Eastern Women's Run
Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon

so it's 2 down...2 to go...can't wait for them...though i have no idea how I will go through the last one...but I will survive i guess....i hope...

...professor nuts...

2006-08-04T16:07:11Z

yes...i think i am crazy to do this...for someone who's not a marathon runner and hates running...i might just faint by the beach and the medics would have to perform CPR on me or something...and then I would make headlines on the newspaper the next day as the girl who fainted during this race....why????...because she didn't have sufficient training!...and i am thinking (or rather tempted) of going for the half marathon at the end of the year...someone just shoot me for my insanity!...

...DRUMROLL...

2006-07-20T15:03:21Z

jang jang jang.......

finally...after the long awaited silence...after the infamous lines..."ARE ALL MEN REALLY JERKS??...WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD MEN GONE???"...I have decided to write/type (whatever you call it) here...well...it's not that I do not want to write, it's just that each time when I do wanna pen something down, I have this major mental block and I stop the whole process of journaling...

I know i know...many pple has been complaining/scolding me stuff like...

"you get journal for wat??...put there and collect dust?!?"

or

"eh..ur journal ah..always looks the same whenever i go read it...update la!"

hmmm....but I thought journals are for personal use??...guess not..at the rate blogging is getting so popular right now...almost everyone I know is so open with their feelings and emotions......

well...so yeah...here I am updating about my so called life...a lot has happened...some good...some bad...HAD a job...but am jobless now cos contract ended...so I have now fall into several categories...

1) ONE who is looking for a permanent job
2) ONE who is avoiding the working world
3) ONE who (i-can't-believe-i-am-saying-this-and-would-never-say-it-when-i-was-Pri 6-but-is-actually-saying-it-right-now) miss studying...
4) ONE who is a bummer
5) ONE who wishes she can perpetually go on holidays forever...
6) ONE who people thinks she's-free-because-she-isn't-working-but-in-actual-fact-she's-not-that-free

alright...i think that's enough...I might have more...but I should stop there for now...so back to my so called life...I haven't been taking much photos cos there's nothing much for me to take here in compared to downunder...as you all might have known by now...I am not those who like to take those big-head-shots of myself or my friends...yeah...i prefer photos that does not have me inside...I miss taking those kinda photos...actually I miss down under...I miss...

1)the place...
2)the serenity of my hostel...
3)the privacy I use to have...
4)the morning sun...
5)the irritating magpies that attack ur head during spring...
6)the free sitting cinemas...
7)the clear skies at night with bright sparkling stars...
8)winter sun..where it's cold but the sun shines warmly on ur cheeks...
9)drinking a nice hot drink during winter....
10)sitting in the open field...
11)jogging in shorts during winter...

i miss all those...*sigh*...when i'm there...i say i miss Singapore...I guess the saying that the grass is always greener on the otherside is true....bah!!!...

yes yes...i know...i need to snap out of it...i need to grow up...but...can't i be a toys'r'us kid?!!?!?!?..............alright...not funny...*sigh*...it's scary that how my life is slowly unfolding...how things around me are happening...I know it happens for a reason..I know God place it there for a reason...but the consequences of these happenings is scary sometimes...seriously...i thought i was going berserk at some point...it's not funny...the fact that the future is always so uncertain and unpredictable...it really does freak me out from time to time...and it doesn't help when ANOTHER tsunami just occur =(( When I heard about that news...it really saddens me...reminded me of the major one that happened a couple of years back...*sigh*...is the world really coming to an end??...is it for the better??...but I haven't done or accomplished so many things...the list is barely half checked!!...that's not good!!...

Soo...right now...I just need direction..I need an open door..i need God to speak to me clearly in my ears like...

"THIS IS GOD!...PAM....GO THERE!...AND U'll BE GOOD!!

somewhere along those lines...that will be good...i'm not that desprate right now...but I think the desperation might creep in soon or is it already here??

ok...i think that's enough for few months of silence...there might be another few months of silence AGAIN??...or i might write more since I am jobless now (refer to point 6 of the first few paragrapghs)...the mental block is coming back again.......i'm gone...

ok bye!

...why??...

2006-03-21T17:47:12Z

Are all man really jerks??

Where have all the good man gone??

Is there really no good man on this planet??

*sigh*

...Mt. Kosciuzko 2005...

2006-02-23T03:39:21Z

these are long overdue pictures from my last camp in Australia...it was taken in Mt. Kosciuzko, the highest mountain in Australia located in New South Wales...for the 8 days I was there, I had a ball of a time in this camp and I learnt a lot from it as well...I came back from this camp looking pretty much like a Thai worker...with my face so black (note: not tan!) and my lips so white from the peeling!!...but it was good!!...I look pretty much the same in every picture cos well I only had one set of outer clothes...the only thing I changed was my thermals and my undies....so yeah...I reckon shall keep the other details to myself =) click on the photos for a larger view.........

sun rises at around 5am in the morning...it's beautiful to wake up above the clouds...view is breath taking....

that's Blue Lake above...one of the many beautiful lakes found in Kosciuzko....the firs picture was taken above Blue Lake...and the second was taken at the bottom of it...and the last picture was taken when we were trekking up to the peak of Mt. Kosci....

just some of the random shots of the 8 day camp...oh ya!...

we went toboganning (i hope that's the right spelling) as well...that's when we sit on a trash bag and slide down the snow!...it's really fun...minus the cold and the pain when you need to stop!

This would probably be the last time I trekked there....it'll be one of the many things I will miss about my stay in Australia...=)

...since everyone is doing this...

2006-02-21T17:16:04Z

::My Johari Window::

...stuff that I do not know about myself...

...right...

2006-02-21T16:11:00Z

Your Scholastic Strength Is Inspiring Others

You are great at developing a vision, and getting others to adopt your way of thinking.
You are talented at leading, balancing tasks, and helping people work together.

You should major in:

Counseling
Environmental studies
Law
Social work
Political science
Nursing

What Should You Major In?